


This is my winter song to you

by Silly_writer



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, they gay and it's Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29008791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silly_writer/pseuds/Silly_writer
Summary: Lilith and Mary share their first Christmas together.
Relationships: Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith/Original Mary Wardwell
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	This is my winter song to you

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know I'm late for a Christmas fic haha, but this is one of my gf's gifts, and despite being very late I did finish it sooo here it is :)

**1 week before Christmas**

Every year, the Christmas Market settles at the heart of Greendale. The main street is taken over ; by trees, lined messily across an impressive surface, and crowds. They walk under the dim, flattering light of naked bulbs hanging on garlands above them, just a fraction of the hundreds of decorations installed (some frankly horrendous). There are stands with the most futile things, where groups of feverish gift shoppers reunite. It’s a ridiculous thing, or a magical one, depending on who you ask; yet the whole town finds itself there, for many dark nights of December, chasing after the joyful spirit of the upcoming holidays. Mary even convinced Lilith to go. 

\- Isn’t it pretty?

Mary looks up at the night sky — the moon high and bright in it, and the shiny ornaments above them — as they stroll down the street, arms linked. The demoness can’t help smiling. She can’t deny it either. 

\- It is. 

_Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas_

_I won't even wish for snow_

Mary chuckles quietly, hearing Lilith hum along to the song, much to her surprise. 

_And I'm just gonna keep on waiting_

_Underneath the mistletoe_

Lilith frowns when she turns around and meets Mary’s amused glance.

\- What?

\- Nothing. 

\- What? What did I do, why are you laughing?

\- You were humming!

Lilith raises an eyebrow. 

\- And?

Mary, suddenly flustered, struggles to find words. 

\- I don’t know! I just… I like it when you’re like that. 

\- Like what?

Mary rolls her eyes and lets out a small laugh, dragging Lilith by the arm towards one of the stands. She mutters under her breath. 

\- Silly… 

Lilith is about to find some snappy retort, when Mary holds a curious object before her eyes. 

\- What's this?

\- It’s a snowman!

Lilith looks at what seems like a tree ornament from every angle, as it twists and turns on Mary’s finger. The stack of vague, grayish shapes, with an orange triangle around the top, has none of the characteristics of a snowman.

\- Hm, well that’s the ugliest snowman I’ve ever seen. Looks like it's carrying a disease. 

\- Lilith!

Mary shoots her an angry glance, gesturing towards the stand. The demoness raises her eyebrows, confused, before her eyes fall on the “vendors”. A little boy and a little girl, maybe 8 and 10, stare back with wide, hopeful eyes. Their “stand” is a table, full of ornaments they clearly made themselves — a good fifty of them. And, clearly, they haven’t sold a lot, or any, for that matter. Mary leans towards Lilith, speaking in a low tone. 

\- Poor kids… I bet they spent hours making these. 

Lilith looks at the table, then at the children, then back to Mary. 

\- Lilith? Is something the matter?

The demoness smiles. 

\- What’s your names?

\- What?

Mary stares at her as if she has gone crazy. 

\- Not you Mary, I’m talking to the kids!

She crouches down, staring awkwardly at the two stunned kids. Why is this fancy, scary lady talking to them?

\- Your names, kids. 

They stare back in silence. Lilith turns to Mary, who is standing there, still confused. 

\- Can they even hear me with those tiny ears?

Her tone betrays both annoyance and insecurity. Mary chuckles, and crouches down with her. 

\- Hi. I’m Mary, and this is Lilith. 

The little girl lights up suddenly, as if she only needed to know that information to go on. 

\- I’m Alice. This is my brother Tommy. 

Tommy looks down, and Alice smiles cheerfully. 

\- Hi Alice. We would like to buy an ornament or two. How much are they?

\- Oh, just a dollar. 

Mary nods, getting her wallet out. 

\- We’re giving the money to Mrs Joanne. She’s our neighbour, her dog is sick. 

\- Oh no… That's very sweet of you to help her out. 

Mary is getting a few pennies out, when Lilith stops her. 

\- Alice, Tommy. We’ll buy them all. 

The kids look at each other excitedly, while Mary turns to her demoness with a look of utter bewilderment. She reaches into her purses and magics some money into her hand. 

\- I guess this will be enough… 

She hands the money to the little girl, who takes it, eyes blown wide with surprise. Mary looks, panicked, at a few bills of a hundred being passed into the hand of a ten years old. But, really, what can she do? When Lilith takes this kind of decision, there is no stopping her. 

\- We made the ornaments with stuff from the recycling bin! 

The boy announces this proudly. Lilith grins. 

\- I bet you did. 

She turns to Mary, chuckling. The woman stares at her for a second, almost long enough for the demoness to ask her what it’s about, before she slips an arm around her waist and squeezes her close. 

\- I love you…

\- I love you too. 

She whispers in the woman’s ear before pressing a sweet kiss to her temple. The little girl pulls on Lilith’s sleeve, causing her to jolt around in puzzlement. 

\- Do you have a bag? 

\- Just put it in my purse. 

Alice looks at the small size leather purse with disbelief, before looking back up at Lilith’s face with a “are you completely dumb” sort of glance; one only children this age can fully master. 

\- It won’t fit miss. 

Lilith’s eyes sparkle. 

\- Hm, is that a challenge?

Both kids stare, unsure of what to answer. Mary opens her mouth to speak, but Lilith is not done with her little show. 

\- Let’s try it and we’ll see. 

Lilith opens her purse and leans over. Little Alice and tiny Tommy start putting ornaments in the purse. They shove in a good ten, expecting it to be full, but much to their surprise there is still space. Their eyes are blown wide, pupils shining as every item they put mysteriously fits. Soon, there is only one ornament left on the table. Lilith grabs it, throws it in the purse before closing it sharply and squeezing it in the crease of her elbow. 

\- Pleasure doing business with you. 

She winks, and before either kids (or an astonished Mary) can say anything, she is gone. After a few seconds of confusion and an awkward smile to the elf-like vendors, Mary runs behind her. 

\- What on earth was that?

She finally lets out a laugh at the absurdity of the situation, and Lilith smiles back. They both know she mostly did it for Mary; though it would be a lie to say it wasn’t also because of that gigantic heart she hides under her cool aura. 

\- We really should find something to put those ornaments in, huh?

\- We should! 

As they walk towards the tree stand, Lilith spots a man handing out branches of mistletoe to passerbys, for a few dollars. 

\- I always thought that was kind of stupid. 

\- What?

\- The whole mistletoe kiss thing. 

Mary shrugs, a slight pout settling on her lips. 

\- I think it’s romanti… 

\- Good evening ladies, looking for a nice Christmas tree?

The little (too) joyful man walks them through all the sizes and the types, chatting endlessly, before Lilith gets bored and urges Mary to choose one. “Your favourite”, she says. “The one you see in the Christmas of your dreams”. 

Mary astounds both Lilith and the vendor when she points to a medium-sized, quite dishevelled tree. She likes its messy charisma, its “out of the ordinary” quality. Just like her and Lilith, in fact. 

\- I want this one. 

The demoness smiles. 

\- Then this one it is. 

The tree is soon all packed up in the top of Mary’s car (with of course a bit of magical help), and the two women take a moment to stroll down the avenue once more. They haven’t checked the time in a while, and when they do they are surprised to see it’s way later than they thought. It’s starting to get much colder too; Mary didn’t dress with a big enough scarf for this kind of wind. She shivers slightly, and Lilith’s eyes fill themselves with concern. 

\- Maybe we should go home. 

\- I’m fine, Lili. 

\- Are you sure? 

\- Yes, I’m sure. 

Her eyes wander a bit further down the streets. She sees something, and her lips stretch out in a child-like smile. 

\- A nice hot chocolate would help me keep myself warm, though. 

\- I don’t think I can concentrate enough at this hour to magic you a… 

\- Can you concentrate enough to walk a few steps and turn to your right?

Lilith abruptly stops and turns to her lover. 

\- What?

Mary points a few feet in front of them. 

\- There’s a hot chocolate stand, silly. 

  
Lilith follows Mary’s finger to, indeed, two nice-looking ladies passing fuming paper cups. 

\- Oh. 

Lilith pays for a cup for Mary and hands it to her with a smile. 

\- Here you go, my lady!

\- You’re not taking one?!

Mary sounded so shocked that it made Lilith giggle. 

\- I didn’t plan to, no. Is it important for you that I take one or?

\- Don’t be silly, of course not. I’m just surprised someone would turn down a hot chocolate. 

Lilith lets out a chuckle. 

\- Alright, I’ll try. 

Mary stops in her movement, just before taking a sip. 

\- Don’t tell me you never drank one?

Lilith, grabs the cup the lady is holding out to her with a thankful nod, slipping a bill in her hand. She takes a big sip. 

\- Of course not!

Mary rolls her eyes. Lilith licks her lips seductively and smirks. 

\- I have to say, it’s quite nice. 

\- See? 

They stroll down the street; now emptier by the minute. Lilith’s hand sinks in Mary’s coat pocket and intertwines her fingers with the woman’s own hand. Mary’s thumb flicks over the back of her hand, and Lilith’s heart warms up despite the cold. A few snowflakes magically start coming down. 

\- That’s even nicer.

Mary smiles. 

\- Sadly, I have to interrupt this moment and find a bathroom before I implode. 

Lilith laughs. 

\- I won’t ever get used to how often you have to pee. 

Mary giggles as an answer. 

\- I’ll be right back!

Coming out of the store where she nicely asked the lady to let her use her restrooms, Mary spots Lilith, a bit further up the street; putting her wallet back in her purse. She trots back to her. 

\- What were you doing?

\- Nothing! Just waiting for you. 

As they walk back towards the end of the street, where Mary’s car is parked, the two women lean into each other, in a comfortable silence. The vendors are packing up their stands, there are only a few passerbys left. 

\- Careful, you dropped… 

Mary immediately looks down. 

\- What?

Lilith smirks devilishly, and gets a mistletoe branch out. She holds it above their heads. Mary looks up confused. 

\- What, Lilith, what did I… 

She stops mid-sentence when her eyes land on the woman’s curious expression. Lilith’s glance flickers upwards. 

\- Well well, look what we have here. 

When Mary notices the familiar branch, her lips stretch in a surprised smile. She looks 30 years younger suddenly. 

\- Silly… 

\- You call me that a lot this evening. 

  
Mary shakes her head and chuckles.

\- You didn’t have to. 

\- I know. 

Lilith stares into her eyes, glance heavy with promises. 

\- Kiss me. 

She can see how Mary’s shyness comes creeping back, in the way her cheeks blush and she blinks a few times. The woman looks around, as if assessing the number of people. She isn’t the one to do those kinds of things, usually. But then Lilith’s soft fingers are on her chin, tilting her head and bringing them closer, so she can only see her icy blue glance. 

_Oh, fuck it._

\- I love you. 

The words are rushed, swallowed by the demoness when Mary presses her lips on hers, wrapping her arms around the lover’s form. They kiss passionately (Mary’s mouth maybe even more eager than Lilith’s), with no more care about anyone that might be watching. The demoness tries holding the mistletoe above their heads — if you do it, then better do it properly — though soon her arm drops and comes to hold Mary tight. They smile against each other, breathing in the cold air of this magical December night. 

* * *

**On Christmas eve**

\- Don’t cut your fingers off, alright?

Mary gives the kitchen knife to Lilith with a warning glance. 

\- Would be quite unfortunate for the both of us. 

The younger woman already has her back to the demoness, checking on the sauce which simmers quietly in the pan. 

\- What?

  
LIlith turns to her, as she keeps on with her task — probably the most complicated Mary could have assigned her without the demoness screwing the whole recipe up — chopping onions. 

\- I said… 

\- Don’t look away while you chop, Lili, for fuck’s sake!

Lilith sighs and looks back at her busy hands. 

\- Swearing a lot today, Miss Wardwell. 

\- That’s because I had the questionable idea of trying to teach you how to cook.

\- Well, you can’t say I don’t bring the entertainment to the kitchen. 

\- Hm. 

Lilith looks at her again, risking another alarmed reaction. She finds Mary, eyes closed, tasting the sauce on the tip of the spoon. In all honesty, it’s a pretty hot scene. Though maybe that’s mostly due to Lilith’s vivid imagination. 

\- So, what’s the verdict, Miss chef?

Mary’s eyes snap open, caught off guard. Lilith’s mischievous gaze lingers on her mouth. If she wants to play that game… 

\- I don’t know, maybe you should give it a taste. 

She dips the spoon in the mixture once more and comes in behind the demoness, pressing her body into hers; just enough to make Lilith crave her weight against her. She brings the spoon barely an inch away from the woman’s mouth. 

\- Careful, it’s hot. 

Lilith’s lips curl, blowing on it. 

\- Hm, it really is. 

Her tongue comes out to lick the tip of the spoon, swirling around it; giving Mary quite the show. Then, she closes her eyes, seemingly lost in profound reflection. 

\- Come on, spit it out. 

\- Not enough salt. 

Mary moves back, tasting again. She looks at Lilith, brows furrowed. 

\- Is it true? Or are you just messing with me?

\- I have no idea. 

Mary rolls her eyes and scoffs. She tries returning to her pots, but Lilith abandons her knife (almost throws it on the counter, not thinking about how it could fall off and into her foot, she has more important things to think about) and grabs Mary’s hips, pressing their bodies together in one swift movement. Her lips find the tender skin of her neck. One, two, three little kisses, pulling the skin softly with sharp teeth. 

\- Lili… 

Mary’s voice came out more breathy than she would have liked. 

\- Lili, stop it. The sauce will be ruined. 

But the demoness’ truly devilish mouth turns more wanton instead. 

\- I can fix it later.

Mary bursts out in genuine laughter. Lilith thinks that means she won, but Mary takes advantage of the moment to gently pull away. 

\- We have plenty of time for that this evening, I’m cooking now. And you were supposed to be helping me. 

\- Couldn’t I help you with a little magic instead?

\- No, it’ll be better if you work for it a little. Earn it. 

Lilith’s eyes gleam again. 

\- And what's my reward?

Mary walks up the counter, takes the knife and puts it in Lilith’s hand. 

\- A nice meal. Now get that pretty ass back to work. 

\- You think my ass is pretty?

\- That wasn’t the point, but yes, of course. 

\- I like yours better. 

\- We literally have the same!

\- Oh shush. 

* * *

Once dinner was finally ready, with a little help from magic in the end (Mary severely overcooked the pasta, because some witch was very busy leaving marks all up her throat, but Lilith fixed it), both women went to get ready. They had agreed to dress nice, and made a little arrangement, one of Mary’s silly ideas; they would get changed separately, and see each other only when they both would be ready. So now Mary is in her bedroom, and Lilith is in the bathroom. When she has slipped her deep green dress on, with a little eye shadow around her eyes, Mary goes to knock on the bathroom door. 

\- Lili? Are you done yet?

\- Just a minute. 

Mary stands at the door for maybe another 5 minutes, hearing all sorts of sounds from behind the door. Is she renovating the plumbing, for Heaven’s sake? Mary sighs heavily, getting impatient. 

\- Lili, what in hell are you doi… 

The demoness opens the door suddenly, and Mary’s mouth falls open. She is wearing a bright red suit, with a white silk shirt, and of course her usual carmine lipstick. She is _glowing_. 

\- You look… 

Lilith flashes a toothy grin. 

\- Cat got your tongue?

Mary reaches out and smoothes a strand of her hair; for once she let the natural curls bounce about around her head. 

\- Truly the woman of my dreams. 

The demoness may play it cool, Mary can see how that affects her. She is even left speechless for a few seconds. Then, she offers Mary her arm. 

\- May I escort you downstairs, my lady?

\- It would be my honor.

When they reach the kitchen and Mary starts letting go of her arm, Lilith nuzzles Mary’s loose hair. 

\- You do look exquisite too. 

Mary blushes, never getting used to the attention, and wraps an arm around Lilith’s waist. Let this magical evening begin… 

* * *

\- Dinner was delicious!

Mary smiles. 

\- It was. Must have been the onions… 

She looks up at the demoness, a mischievous look on her face. 

\- Shut up. 

Mary chuckles. 

\- I love you too. 

They are snuggling on the living room couch, fire burning in the chimney. In the corner of the room, there’s their messy tree with the ugliest ornaments in the world. The decor has a certain homely charm, something warm that echoes the hearty feeling in Mary’s chest. 

\- Wanna play a game?

Lilith’s mouth twists in thought. 

\- Hmmm, I don’t know. 

Mary waits a few seconds, before pulling away slightly and looking into the demoness’ eyes. 

\- So that means… ?

\- I don’t know! What kind of game?

A smirk, and fingers galloping up Mary’s thigh. 

\- Certainly not that one. 

Lilith rolls her eyes and sighs. 

\- What then?

\- A board game or something. I think I have a Mancala board somewhere. 

\- A what?

Mary stands up and walks over to a cabinet next to the fireplace. 

\- You’ll see. You’ll probably beat me at it. 

\- I do like a bit of competition… 

Mary looks at her, an eyebrow raised. 

  * Oh I know. 



* * *

**A few hours later**

\- So is it an animal?

\- No. 

\- A person?

\- No.

\- A thing then?

\- Well, yeah. 

\- Is it big?

Mary smiles. 

\- Immense.

\- What kind of thing is it?

\- Babe, I can’t answer that. 

\- Why?

\- Because it’s only yes or no questions!

\- But I’m tired! And I wanna know!

\- That’s not the game!

Lilith sighs. 

\- Can we do another one?

\- It’s the seventh one we’re trying! You always get bored after 10 minutes!

  * _“You always get bored after 10 minutes”_



Lilith takes on a mocking tone, pouting. Mary ignores it, chuckling quietly.

\- The answer was my love for you by the way… 

The demoness softens, rolling her eyes.

\- Immense, huh? I should have guessed… 

When Mary turns to her to snap back with a witty retort, Lilith is looking at her with the most adorable eyes. 

\- Can’t we just cuddle?

Mary gets closer, but with a slight pout for good measure. 

\- I like playing games… 

Lilith leans towards Mary, letting herself fall into her arms. For a peaceful second, she stays there, inhaling her scent, looking up at her through lidded eyes. Mary tenderly twists a strand of her hair between her thumb and index finger, and smiles.

\- You’re right, this is nice…

\- You know what would be nicer? 

Mary looks at her with suspicion. The demoness’ voice changed suddenly, from sluggishly sweet to lively, almost sparkling. 

\- No…?

\- Dancing! 

She pulls away and stands up, walking towards Mary’s old record player. 

\- Let’s put some music on. 

Mary stays sitting on the floor for a moment, looking at this Lilith, a different woman than a minute ago; that’s one of the reasons why she loves her. She never stops surprising her. 

This animated mood is one Mary recognizes instantly (and loves); it’s how the demoness is when she is tired but not ready to call it a night yet, this joyful and unpredictable state that creates some of their best moments. Mary watches, in awe, before being pulled out of her thoughts by loud music hitting her ears.

\- Not so loud! 

\- Sorry! 

Some 40s jazz bursts through the speakers, and Lilith sways to the rhythm, eyes locked with Mary’s (who frankly doesn’t know what to do). 

\- Dance with me.

It’s not a question, and Mary wouldn’t want to disappoint her demoness, so she tries to ignore the sting of insecurity in her throat and takes her hand.Lilith guides her through the music, bodies melting and fingers intertwined, with a devious smirk. 

\- What?

\- It’s just…

\- Oh!

Mary trips on the coffee table, feeling the floor slip under her feet before being pulled swiftly back up into Lilith’s arms. 

\- Don’t worry, I got you. 

Mary chuckles nervously, replacing her hair in little sharp movements. The demoness stares at her shamelessly the whole time, her glance almost invasive, and her smirk splits onto a wide grin. After a few seconds, Mary clears her throat and looks back up to Lilith’s eyes, trying to regain her composure. 

\- What were you about to say?

\- No idea. 

The younger woman giggles, and Lilith does too. They can’t help it, when they’re together; this childish silliness. Laughing for nothing. 

\- I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite like that.

\- What do you mean?

\- Tipsy.

Lilith rolls her eyes at Mary’s expression. 

\- I’ve only had a bit of champagne. 

\- I know, but for some reason I always thought alcohol didn’t have much effect on you. 

\- Oh, well, I can push the drunkenness away. Magically, I mean. If I decide I don’t want to, then I won’t get drunk at all. 

\- So you decided to get drunk tonight?

They laugh, and Lilith kisses Mary’s cheek spontaneously. They stay in silence for a minute, before the demoness speaks up again, in a softer voice. 

\- It’s a weird thing, I don’t really _decide_ it, it just doesn’t affect me when I’m in a situation where I know I cannot let go of any self control. When I do, it has the same effect as it has on anyone.

Mary smiles. She doesn’t say it, how moved she feels by that confession, but she squeezes Lilith a bit tighter against her, leaning her head on her shoulder as they dance in the warm living room. They have really gone a long way. 

\- You know what we should do?

\- What now… 

\- Open our gifts! 

\- It’s not Christmas day yet. 

But Mary turns to Lilith, excited as a kid celebrating her first Christmas (which she is, in a way), and she can’t resist her.

\- Alright… 

She glances at the clock.

\- Well, looks like it’ll be tomorrow in 15 minutes anyway.

Lilith flashes her a wide smile and walks towards the tree, grabbing a small package.

\- I would have got you more, but you made me promise we’d give each other small gifts, so…

The golden wrapping paper is soon torn and thrown away, revealing a beautifully bound leather notebook. 

\- I know you like journaling so I thought… 

Lilith nervously looks at Mary’s face, but her nerves settle down when it turns into a bright smile. 

\- It’s beautiful. Thank you.

She leans in to kiss her. 

\- Well, there are still a few things left…

\- What things?

Lilith reaches for a small bag.

\- This, first of all.

Mary’s hand plunges in the bag and gets out a beautiful feather pen. 

\- For dramatic effect, and a bit of a vintage touch… I thought you’d like it. 

\- I do… 

The woman observes the delicate object from every angle.

\- Oh, and it’s enchanted, so it doesn’t need any ink. Also… 

Mary smiles at her.

\- What? 

\- Nothing, you’re just clever. 

\- Clever?

\- Those are very nice gifts! 

\- Stop it, a notebook is kind of ordinary… 

\- This one certainly is not. 

Lilith shrugs. 

\- Well, if you would let me finish, there’s still a few details about it I need to tell you about. 

\- Alright, I’m all ears.

She smirks mischievously and the demoness pretends to ignore it. 

\- If you look inside the cover, I carved some runes. They prevent anyone except you from reading it. When they open it, they will just see blank pages. And that includes me. But if you write my name and say it aloud, I will appear, whatever I’m doing. So I’ll always be there if you need me. _Always_.

Mary smiles, her eyes watering. 

\- Come here. 

Mary wraps her hand around the demoness’ neck and brings her face closer, gluing their foreheads together. Eyes closed, she sighs. 

\- You’re amazing. 

\- No, you are!

Mary chuckles. 

\- Shut up… 

The demoness would have said something if there weren't lips sealed to her own the second after the words escaped Mary’s mouth. She melts into the touch and whimpers softly. 

\- My turn now!

Mary pulls away as brutally as she kissed Lilith, leaving the woman with a lingering hunger. 

\- So… My gift is a little special. 

Lilith bites her lip. 

\- What kind of special?

\- I’m offering you a night out. As a “normal” woman. 

\- I’m not “normal” enough for you?

Mary rolls her eyes. 

\- Normal isn’t the first word I would use to describe you, but I don’t tend to like “normal” people. 

\- I see. Then why offer me this then?

\- It’s just for a night. When did we have a proper date?

LIlith reflects for a second, before smiling. 

\- Not ever, I believe. 

\- Well, open this then. 

She hands her a red envelope. The paper is thick and smooth, with a slight gleam to it. Lilith’s agile fingers rip the beautiful thing open. 

\- A 5-course meal with wine pairings at the Eversgreen… 

\- It’s in Riverdale. I heard it’s the best restaurant in the area. 

Lilith reaches out to take Mary’s hand.

\- Than… 

\- There are still a few things left. 

She grins, and Lilith scoffs. 

\- Didn’t we say small gifts?

\- Didn’t you put lots of effort into yours?

\- I did. 

\- Then accept the same thing back, my love. 

She leans in to kiss her, a small and rapid peck on the lips this time, before turning towards the tree once more. 

\- Here. 

She hands a bag to Lilith. She shakes it slightly, feeling the shuffling of small objects inside. Impatient, she throws the paper on the floor to look.

\- What is this?

\- Just some little things to complement. You can use them on the night. 

She gets out a small golden tube. 

\- A lipstick?

\- Indeed. 

It’s not her usual bright red, but a darker shade, some sort of burgundy going on purple. 

\- Do you like it?

\- I do. 

Mary smiles. 

\- I thought a change could be fun. Of course, if you don’t like it, it’s fine. The usual red suits you perfectly. 

\- I said I like it. 

Lilith presses a kiss to her cheek, and Mary turns to meet her lips with a smile, but the demoness is reaching into the bag again. 

\- And this?

It’s a small box, covered in black velvet. 

\- Look inside. 

The cold metal on her fingers is no surprise; the box left no doubt concerning its content. It could only be a precious piece of jewelry, though Lilith wouldn’t have figured Mary is the jewelry-buying type of person. 

\- It’s… 

The silver bracelet slips into her palm; delicate, so unlike anything Lilith might have bought for herself, but still she loves it, adores it immediately as if it’s something she had always wanted. 

\- If you look closer, there are actually… 

\- Gaelic symbols. 

\- Yes. 

Mary smiles. She points to the little motifs engraved on the side. 

\- There’s the Dara celtic knot, representing your strength and resilience, your incredible power, and your wisdom… 

She kisses Lilith’s temple. 

\- Here, there’s the… 

\- Triskelion. 

Mary chuckles. 

\- Yes. And what does it mean?

Lilith raises an eyebrow. 

\- Present past and future. The circle of life. Everlasting movement. 

\- Change then. 

\- One could say that, yes. A change that follows a natural, harmonious arc. 

\- Like you. 

\- What?

The demoness turns to Mary, confused, and her cheeks turn slightly pink. 

\- You’re changing. You’ve changed so much in the last few years, and so have I. Just in the last few months we’ve changed so much together. 

She runs her finger over the symbol on the bracelet. 

\- And it's a _good_ change. It feels right, doesn’t it? 

Taking Lilith’s face in her hands, she forces her to look up and their eyes meet. 

\- You don’t have to be anyone with me. You can keep as much of your old self as you want or throw some parts away. I want us to grow, try things, together. Change, together. Grow _old_. I want to see what you will become. But I never want to be the one who tells you what you should be. 

The demoness stares, her breath strangely short. She didn’t know how much she wanted to hear that; and now she sees how she expressed that desire, not clearly, more carefully than anything else, but Mary _sees_ her. She knows. 

\- I might tell you what you should do sometimes, because I can’t help it but… 

They chuckle together, mouths so close they can feel the other’s laughter on their lips. 

\- Not who you should become. 

Mary puts a strand of hair behind her lover’s ear, reflecting for a second as her eyes wander across the room before settling back into Lilith’s. 

\- We’re two works in progress.

Lilith lets out a small laugh. 

\- That’s true. 

\- I hope we’ll never stop being that.

Mary sighs into Lilith’s mouth as she pushes her face closer. The demoness’ fingers close on the delicate bracelet, and she squeezes it in her hand, holding it close to her heart in a silly urge to have it close. As soon as they pull away she slips it on. 

\- I never want to take it off… 

Mary takes her wrists and looks at it. 

\- It does look beautiful on you. 

Lilith was leaning forward for another kiss when Mary stops her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

\- Oh, and you see, the symbols are tied together with a circular knot. 

There is indeed a pattern going around, knotting everything together. 

\- It’s because we’re tied together. All of you and all of me. For… 

\- ...ever.

Lilith smiles. 

\- I know what the symbol means. _Eternity_. 

She smiles even wider at the word, taking Mary’s hand and kissing it. 

\- Are you sure you can tolerate me for an eternity or two?

Mary giggles and pulls the demoness closer. 

\- I’ll love you for as many eternities as you’d like.

A silence falls in the living room as they hold each other, for a long minute. Then, Lilith laughs softly in Mary’s ear. 

\- What?

\- It’s just that we had pretty similar ideas… 

\- What do you mean?

The demoness smiles. 

\- I gave you something so I’ll be with you whenever you want me. And you gave me this so I can wear it and you’ll be with me, in a way. 

Mary chuckles.

\- Yes. 

Another silence. Mary hugs Lilith tighter, wrapping her arms around her neck. 

\- Actually, I do have one last thing for your outfit that night. 

Lilith rolls her eyes. 

\- That’s not fair! You said little gifts!

The demoness’ playful expression changes as soon as she sees Mary’s face; serious, nervous even. Church bells resonate from afar. Lilith wants to say “Merry Christmas!”, she wants to kiss her and giggle again, but the atmosphere is suddenly so different. She doesn’t know what to expect, as Mary gets a smaller box from a hidden corner under the tree. When their eyes meet again, Mary smiles awkwardly. 

\- Come sit with me. 

They sit on the couch, and Mary grabs Lilith’s hands.

\- At first I…

The words stay stuck in her throat. She clears it, an anxious tremor running through her hand as she tries to take in a big breath. She focuses on the feeling of Lilith’s thumb rubbing her palm gently. Then, she starts again.

\- At first I didn’t know if I wanted to do this, because I was afraid you might… I just don’t want you to think I _need_ anything more from you. Because I know, in the past, you were never loved without having to fulfill _demands_ …

Disgust dripped out of her tongue as she rushed through the word. 

\- And I don’t want it to be this way for us. 

She takes a small respite, looking away from the demoness’ eyes. Lilith tries to hide her worry. 

\- It’s okay, my love. Just tell me what’s on your mind. 

A sudden smile, heavy with emotions, invades Mary’s face. 

\- Recently, I’ve been realising how happy you make me. 

It takes a second before the words sink into the demoness; so ready she was for some dramatic announcement. Speechless, she smiles back in awe, and Mary goes on. 

\- I used to have this normal life, and it was okay. I had my work, and I had my joys, books, afternoon walks. I thought this was just… life. But there was an emptiness, and also a nervousness to everything. If I didn’t work enough every day, I felt so worthless, and I… I just always lived in a daydream, going through days and weeks and being alright but not great, and nothing ever happened. I didn’t know it, but I rarely felt truly happy. But now I know what happiness, real happiness, feels like. 

She runs her thumb over Lilith’s hand. 

\- And it’s so different from anything I’ve ever felt. It’s different, it brings something out, something childlike? Maybe? I don’t know, it’s a bit like when you’re 8 years old and life is full of promises, and you don’t have to find things to pass the time because the days are… light. It’s such a pure feeling, and it’s not like the satisfaction of accomplishing something, it’s not a happiness that comes from a concrete, material thing. Just by being there you make me simply happy, and happy is too simple to describe the feeling. 

Her hand comes up to smooth a strand of hair and tuck it behind her ear. Lilith’s eyes are filled with tears, as she stares, still taken aback so completely that she cannot speak a word. 

\- You’re such an amazing person, Lili. More than you know. The world feels like a much warmer place now that I know there’s someone for me, someone like you in it. I can’t imagine my life without you. I know we’ve only been together a year, but… I guess if we were younger I would have waited a few years. Now I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to wait anymore.

Delicately, she lets go of the demoness’ hands and kneels on the living room carpet. She takes the small box that she had put down on the table, opens it. 

\- You’re the love of my life. And I want to shout it from the rooftops. 

The silver ring, simple and fine, sits in dark blue velvet in front of Lilith’s wide eyes. 

\- Will you marry me?

Lilith’s smile stretches into the corner of her trembling lips, and she jumps into Mary’s arms. 

\- Yes, yes, yes. 

She kisses her face, in a haze, so much she doesn’t even know what she is kissing anymore; eyelids and cheekbones and a corner of her forehead, every little piece of her, all equally precious, all _hers_. And it feels as glorious as it feels surreal. The ring slips in her finger and nothing ever felt more right in its place. 

\- I love you, I love you so much, Mary. 

* * *

\- I want… a fucking big bath.

Mary breaks into a bright laugh. 

\- Then I guess we’ll have a _fucking_ big bath. 

\- And a fireplace!

\- And a fireplace. 

Lilith giggles. She pushes Mary’s shoulder playfully, and gives her a quick, feverish kiss. 

\- What else? What do you want?

\- I don’t know…

She turns to the demoness, her eyes wide and shining. 

\- I don’t really need anything else than you to make me feel at home. 

Lilith feels her heart fluttering in her chest at the words, with this sort of pleasant pressure. But she shrugs it off in a roll of her eyes. 

\- Oh come on! I’m sure there are things you want for our future. 

Mary saw how affected she was, and she knows why she didn’t say anything. Lilith is still scared of the depth of her own feelings, sometimes. And sometimes, Mary doesn’t need to ask; she can just feel her. So she stays silent and chews on a smile instead. 

\- Well, I want you to take me to visit all those places you’ve been to. 

Lilith chuckles softly, already feeling the millions of possibilities in front of them; all the happy moments surely ahead. It’d been so long, before Mary, since she didn’t see her future as a list of happy things to cross.

\- It will be my pleasure. 

Mary’s smile echoes in a soft laugh, and the conversation flows into the night, comfortable like the carpet of blankets and cushions they made on the living room floor, up until Lilith wakes up, confused for an instant, before smiling at the feeling of Mary’s head on her chest. They fell asleep, apparently. 

\- Mary?

Lilith’s voice is soft, careful not to wake up her lover, but with the heavy hope that she might be not too far gone into her dreamlands; and hear her. The woman stirs, and looks up. 

\- What time is it?

\- I don’t know, we fell asleep. 

Mary creeps up a bit higher, burying her face in Lilith’s neck. 

\- I love you. 

And as they're both drifting off again, the demoness’ voice raises in the silence, surprising them both. 

\- You know, that happiness thing you were talking about? I didn’t know… I couldn’t put it in words, but yes. That’s exactly how I feel when I’m with you. And with the happiness comes a relief that I’ve never experienced before. Like the whole weight of my troubles and my fears and my anxious thoughts have been lifted from my chest. And I can’t thank you enough for that… 

Mary can hear the sleepiness in her tone, despite the clearness of the words, and there is such tenderness hanging from them; the consonants softer, the vowels slightly stretched, the mouth a bit looser. Soon she’ll wrap her arms around her and cling to her, before going back to sleep. It’s one of the demoness’ many moods, and Mary loves this one. 

\- You don’t have to thank me for anything. Anything I’m doing for you is rendered a thousand times with what you do for me. 

Lilith smiles, softly, into Mary’s hair. It’s so funny, in a way — that they’re sleeping on the floor, under a big knitted blanket, two grown women — and yet Lilith loves it. Their life together has this quality that makes every eventuality change into a why not; even the most “childish” things. Mary is thinking it too, how lucky they are to share a bond that deep, allowing this childlike freedom. Lilith never had the chance to be a kid, and Mary is so glad she can share that buried part of her now. 

And the demoness’ sleepy voice raises once more, bringing a sleepy smile to Mary’s lips. 

\- That is the best Christmas I’ve ever had…

\- That’s your first Christmas! 

Mary lets out a baffled chuckle. 

\- Exactly. 

In a sigh, she falls back in the arms of Morpheus. The night goes on, very similar to a lot of nights they had before: I love you’s murmured into the crook of a neck, breathed in, as they twist and shift on their improvised bed, with a clumsy kiss that might as well landed on an eye rather than a mouth, and them both plunging into deep slumber before realising it. In an instant, it seems, early morning light is already peeking through the curtains. 

\- Ugh… 

Lilith turns around, eyes shut tight, grunting. The night can’t end, not yet. The demoness sure likes her sleep, especially when Mary is there in her arms. Is there even a reason to get up? 

But she feels a stare on her face, and forces her eyes open. Mary chuckles at her annoyed expression, which turns softer in a second anyway. Lilith can’t help but smile upon the sight of Mary in the morning, her hair all messy, her eyes slightly puffy, her lips dry, her face glowing; a divine sight. She forgets her precious sleep immediately, leaning in to leave a kiss on her cheek. Mary chuckles again, and, in an unpredictable jolt, bites the demoness’ shoulder — just hard enough — and Lilith doesn’t really like it, but she loves it at the same time. A delicious annoyance. 

\- You’re dangerous, Mary Wardwell… 

She laughs. 

\- Am I now?

Lilith tries to answer, but the tongue swirling around a patch of skin, where her neck meets her shoulder, is too much of a distraction. 

\- I want to take care of you… 

Mary’s words seem to resonate in her ribcage, echoing in her bones; sinking in just a little bit, maybe starting to convince her. She smiles, and grabs one of Mary’s hands, squeezing it hard. 

\- I love you. 

\- I love you more. 

\- Shut up!

And there was laughs and silence, and loud stares, slow touches and long moments of stillness, messy surges and delectable sounds with sudden tremors, wrapped in a tenderness that can’t be explained to those who don’t know it; stretched into the hours of the morning, until tiredness caught up with them. Now they lay, entangled as ever, just on the verge of sleep. Mary leaves a kiss just next to the woman’s ear. 

\- Truly the woman of my dreams… 


End file.
